I think it's time for me to start writing again.
It's definitely a triggered decision but one that's well overdue and almost timely.
My life has been going through some interesting random changes and I really don't see it until one of my friends makes a comment like 'congratulations!' and I have to wonder what it is I've done. Why would a friend of mine congratulate me now? I haven't accomplished anything really...have I?
College ended and yet I'm still in school. I almost thought I could finally cross off 'college education' off my list but I suppose that doesn't really work until I finish my Master's...or at least I'm hoping that really will get my mother off my back about education. I'm shooting for being done within 5 months but that's still pretty hopeful but maybe by my birthday I'll be done.
I finally feel drama free and yet I still manage to stir things up to get days like today where I really need a good punching bag. I spent about 12 hours of my day today steaming and at the end of it I finally figured out that I wasn't really mad at the person I was fuming at (although I was). I was really angry because I feel like in one particular aspect of my life, I am still exactly in the same state I was in 2 years ago and I'm afraid it's going to cost me something very vital. I know how I got to where I got two years ago and I know that I will never do that again but even though I finally rid myself of that particular virus, I have not yet gotten rid of all the damage it incurred.
I am in a place in my life where my goals are changing. I would really like to be at least without any open wounds if only somewhat scarred.
I'm doing my best to not focus too much on any one thing I want and just enjoy the ride.
It's funny how quickly things can change...the pace of life changes...your definition of 'normal' changes.
I'm not a very patient person.
I always need a distraction to pass the time.
Makes it easier to wait.
Makes the final outcome more of a surprise.
Doesn't make it any easier to wait.
Doesn't make me more patient.
My methods could use some work...
The stages are:
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one, divorce, drug addiction, or infertility. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in the order noted above, nor are all steps experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
Others have noticed that any significant personal change can elicit these stages. For example, experienced criminal defense attorneys are aware that defendants who are facing stiff sentences, yet have no defenses or mitigating factors to lessen their sentences, often experience the stages. Accordingly, they must get to the acceptance stage before they are prepared to plead guilty.
Additionally, the change in circumstances does not always have to be a negative one, just significant enough to cause a grief response to the loss (Scire, 2007). Accepting a new work position, for example, causes one to lose their routine, workplace friendships, familiar drive to work, or even customary lunch sources.
The most common factor is when the person doesn't have the capacity to change their situation, at least not without considerable loss to themselves, thus a person who would go through these stages would not need to continue if they found a way out of the situation: e.g., If a person losing their house was at the bargaining stage but then somehow found a way out of the situation, then they'd have no reason to become depressed. So the 'stages of grief' could be linked to a lack of control or ability, e.g., people who have lost limbs, people on the bad end of an ultimatum, people under threat, and so on.
I have a theory about my fear of commitment.
Which celebrity confession do you wish stayed private?
Alright, I know there are quite a few people out there who have by now seen 'Blindness' and I have to say that the movie was a bit too much for me. Now I am positive that it is an amazing book and overall has a very good point to make but a movie should not be judged based on whether it 'made its point'. So without further adieu, here is my humble review.
The direction is very good. Julianne Moore is a great actress and is the focus of this movie. The entire audience empathizes with her and essentially experiences the whole two hours with her, through her eyes and mind. It's not overacted, not over-dramatized and not very much dialogue so there is lots of open ended thought allotted to the audience. There really is very little dialogue in the movie so it is designed for reflection on the point of the movie.
Mark Ruffalo and all the other American actors in the movie are as expected, very good but thankfully there is not much dialogue and from what I've read they didn't have to work too hard to be in character so overall they create a strong cast.
The strongest and best character, in terms of acting and evoking emotion in the audience is Gael Garcia Bernal. Now I've been a fan of his work for a while and admittedly he does some interesting movies but his acting really is very well developed. He is the antagonist in the story but he created a more 'human' antagonist than the original story intended but it gives much more understanding to the audience and maked me cringe and react more than I ever have during a movie.
The setup of the movie is very similar to 'Children of Men' in the sense that it is a lot of touch and feel and not much dialogue: nameless city, nameless people, nameless actions. The scenes are either overlit or extremely darkened depending on the scene and you are usually either not seeing enough or seeing WAY too much. The movie is rated R and not for the sexy sexual content but the explicit images and emotions in the movie.
This was a great movie but I did not see it in the right context so it is a good movie but DO NOT go see this movie as part of a date :)
First, I want to mention again that I moved to the beautiful pacific northwest for two reasons; the second one is that you can see the seasons here (as opposed to sunny FLA).
Now it is June in Seattle.
It snowed last week in the passes...that would be the mountains.
As it so happens, the pass is actually only about 30 minutes from the densely populated city.
If this doesn't sound very significant to you, it actually snowed heavily (and stuck) in late April as well in the city, on the very low elevations in the city, on the lake in the city, on my balcony in fact.
It is June in Seattle.
You would think it would finally be warm.
You would think that it would be mostly sunny with scattered clouds.
It is June 17th. Our poor poor weather people.
It is CLOUDY today, high of 60. No chance of sun breaks.
Realistically, it's a beautiful day with a very light drizzle. Think cold sauna.
Yesterday was gorgeous! High of 70, sunny all day, no rain, no clouds, all the mountains out in full view.
I have met several people who have also recently moved from FLA. They get depressed by all the gray.
I think it is beautiful.
Yes, after a year in this city, I still think it is beautiful.
There is something awe inspiring about driving down the highway and being surprised by the gigantic volcano towering right in front of view where it was only clouds the week before.
I have not really seen all the seasons this year. Well there was a VERY long winter (November to April) with sparse hints of spring for one or two weekends. There was a very beautiful autumn and hopefully next week the summer will stick around.
I don't care. The dark depressing winter of the pacific northwest is beautiful to me and all the seattleites who complain about it need to try living in constant sun with scattered tropical storms for a decade or more.
I have learned a very valuable lesson this week.
A lot of different bodily fluids can be detected by UV light.
My advice is never bring a black light lamp into your bathroom, not even if you are compulsive about cleaning your bathroom.
will dish later..must sleep first
Update:
It's hard to remember now everything that I did in Moscow but I'll try.
- Kremlin tour: interesting, beautiful, lots of churches, overall too much information.
- The ballet: over-hyped, prima-ballerinas take away from the beauty of the art.
- Family: Different. I don't understand how people can try to argue that I (who has lived 16/22 years in a different country) should want to move back to a country I was never from because "everything is different". It's not true. My way of life is NOT supported in that country and no matter how much economic and social evolution it goes through, I don't think it will be at all enticing for me to move to in my life time.
- Culture: Nothing new or exciting to me. It took a while to get used to everyone speaking both languages I understand.
I think it's ok to visit and see some historical relics and understand where my family came from and what life was like then (still is like for some) but it is by no means a place I dream of having any roots in.
It is now late March and you know what that means?
- Baseball season has begun
- Aries are dominating
- Tax season is afoot
- There is something sexy in the air...or maybe all my friends are just going batty.
- March madness of course but I'm finally not affected.
It also means
- I've now been working for 7 months and have gone through one cycle of reviews (fun, fun)
- I'm going on my first business trip around the globe in less than a month!
- I'm happy.
Oh and Niki is royally kicking butt at competition :) Hopefully that streak will continue
Recent Comments
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Lulu said:
Hmmm, I'm sorry, who exactly are we talking about here? cuz that sounds suspiciously like someone I know, except oh,... read more
on Fear of Commitment -
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I'm confused... what's going on???? read more
on Time